Tim tells me I’m at my best when I write angry (one of his nicknames for me is ‘Her Vagesty, Queen of Ascerbia’) and I know I can spew vitriol like co-eds spew Jagerbombs, but it doesn’t mean I’m angry all the time. I’m not. I’m a cynical person, yes, but my cynicism is born of hope. I have an inordinate, perhaps unreasonable amount of faith in humanity and when that faith is shaken I get angry.[twocol]
"I'm only working here til my band gets signed"
[/twocol]One of the things I’m not going to miss about shopping for a year, although I’m sure to encounter it in other stores, is how absolutely awful customer service has become. Used to be an anomaly when you would tell a friend,”I had the rudest salesperson today.” Now you brag when you receive good service. “You’ll never guess what happened to me today! I had great service! Yeah, really! The salesperson actually listened to my concerns and helped me make an informed decision about my purchase. And he/she seemed to like their job and the product they were selling.” So sad that it’s come to this.
I have worked with the public for nearly a quarter of a century, and I believe this makes me an expert on how humans behave in social settings. I have seen things. Things that would make a biker curl up in the fetal position and rock back and forth. Let’s just leave it at that. I will go out of my way for a customer, but I don’t believe they are always right. In fact, if a customer is unreasonable, or just a cheap asshole, I have absolutely no compunction about giving him or her a verbal bitch-slap. But I always start from a place of respect. I will respect someone until they give me a reason not to. Then, as the kids say, it’s on. Read more
I went for my very last shop today,(unless of course I run to Shoppers before midnight and buy some headbands and a 3-pack of Hanes Her Way) at the last place I would have picked on my own volition. It’s a place I haven’t visited in over a decade, and I know this because the last time I was there I was still riding the bus. It’s just that kind of place, you don’t go there on purpose but once you’re there you think, “Oh, what the hell.” Kind of like the casino. You think it’s lame, and you only go because somebody dragged you there, but you end up having a pretty fun time anyway. Not that you’d tell people that.
When Nick and I decided to finally quit smoking we knew we had to choose a ‘start day’ and stick with it. As that day approached neither of us were really enjoying smoking anymore and when I had my final cigarette for the rest of my life I didn’t even finish it, not by half. The love affair was over. Having completed my last shop for the cameras, I really wasn’t interested in buying anything else although technically this would be the absolute last time for a year. With that in mind, I decided to pop over to the Zellers adjacent to my chiro’s office to pick up something for the house. I bypassed the mall entirely. I put my purchase in the trunk, slid into the driver’s seat, put the key in the ignition and…nothing. Read more
No. My blog today isn’t about Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. Snappy title though, don’t you think?
I’m writing about the items that I purchased today as my last shop – and yes, today I partook of my last clothing/accessories shop for the next year. Why? Because Di is doing it, so I want to try too.
Now it may not seem as difficult as say, a crusade, to some people. But if you’re female with junk in the trunk, you know how difficult it can be to find a decent pair of jeans, let alone one that fits well. And you could also call it a crusade if you know how much I dislike shopping for clothes. More often than not, I buy clothes that look pretty on the hanger. This is due in part to my inherent laziness that doesn’t want to have to work for things or try them on, but also because I usually feel rushed when shopping which leads me to panic and leave the store without purchasing anything at all. And keeping that it mind, I’ve somehow managed to acquire a great deal of clothes, because after all is said and done, I work in a mall. Read more
So I used to have this argument with some women friends of mine, who otherwise disavowed porn, that Oprah Winfrey and her ilk were the rough aesthetic equivalent. It seemed to me that they appealed to a prurient interest in other people’s misery– masked as concern or social awareness. Particularly before the ubuiqity of the internet, they were a kind of communal peepshow invested in stranger’s unhappiness. This is all to say that I usually find the exposure of these unpleasant secrets (as long as they are abuse of self and not others) suspect and pretty repugnant.
Where to begin? Last blog I wrote about a site that seemed to promote what I felt was a lifestyle of somewhat dubious utility to anyone that wasn’t absolutely bent on self-destruction. Since then I’ve visited several more of these kinds of sites and had more than a few illuminating conversations with some of my female friends. In brief– body image issues (which are inevitably a part of any discussion about fashion) of this magnitude are so outside of my personal experience that I’m almost afraid to venture an opinion. And anyone who has even passing contact with me knows that is a statement of some gravity. Read more
A new men’s fashion craze in Mexico. I would caution against wearing these with Hammer Pants for fear someone might ask you for three wishes.
A great flowchart our good friend Jess N. alerted us to. Please read carefully and share with those you love.
Have you ever seen ‘Sophie’s Choice’? Because that’s like, totally my life right now. But with less Nazis. I’m super-duper serious. And no, Meryl is not too old to play me. She could play Gary Coleman and get an Oscar nom. She’s just that good.
First, a word about my hubby Nick. He is a genius but won’t admit it. He is generous and loving and supportive beyond belief. He is also a twisted, twisted demon. Maybe that’s an exaggeration, but he’s definitely a fecal agitator (or ‘shit disturber’ for those of you who speak French). There was that Canada Day when I stupidly said “These mushrooms aren’t working. I don’t feel anything.” To which Nick replied, “Guess you’d better take more.” See what I mean?
Don’t misunderstand, Nick’s mischievous streak is one of his best traits, but in this instance I believe he thinks he’s being cute. You see folks, for my birthday my dearest gave me a choice: a designer hand-bag or a bicycle. I know, right? Demon! Read more