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How I got rid of those last ten pounds

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When we started this blog for the documentary, I promised myself I would never go more than two weeks without posting. I also promised myself that I would never start a blog post with something lame and apologetic like, “Hey, sorry I haven’t posted in like, forever…” But if I look back on my history of broken promises I’ll see many a sincere coulda-shoulda-woulda littering my life’s highway like so many pop cans and Coolio CD’s. Truth be told, it’s …

The way you look

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I  don’t flirt. Ever. Not because I don’t know how, but because I just don’t like to.

I believe in Dog

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I am selfish and lazy. While I have been working since I was 14 years old and like to think I have spent a fair portion of my life if not in the pursuit of bettering humanity then at least thinking about bettering humanity (especially while high, on my couch in the 90’s), I’ve never had real cause to be selfless or industrious. I know that I am selfish and lazy, and not only am I okay with that, I’m …

Gratuity included

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It’s 2012. I hope I don’t need to remind anyone (other than Conservatives and misogynists, if you’ll pardon the redundancy) that women are so much more than their looks. We are capable of anything we set our minds to even if our minds sometimes seem to work at cross purposes. Of course we want to be noticed, but we’d prefer it to be for things that matter, like how well we parallel park, or explain the plot of Memento, or …

Parental Guidance Is Advised

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A couple of weeks ago, my brother Dan came up for Mum’s 75th birthday celebration with his five kids (Paul, 18, Em, 15, Lauren 14, Jon, 12 and Briana, 6), all of whom reminded me of what is was like growing up in a house full of like-minded, clumsy individuals. Our free-flowing sarcasm and penchant for showing each other affection with insults seems harsh, but between the barbs you’d hear us sharing kindnesses like, please and thank you and excuse …


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I stand before you, a sinner. I have broken my word.  I have not practiced what I preached. I have failed!

Worst Impressions

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Most days I wake up and my first instinct is to hop right out of bed. Then life slow motion bitch-slaps me onto my right side and I take a deep breath, prop myself up on my elbow then grimace my way to a sitting position. I’d walk you through the next fifteen minutes of my day but A) I don’t want to lose you in the first paragraph, and B) I can’t walk upright until I’ve been awake at …

The Big Dance Part 2

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At long last, dear readers, here is the second part of The Big Dance. If you haven’t yet read The Big Dance Part One I urge you to do so. Unless you want to read 2 first then ‘Tarantino’ back to part 1, it would certainly be in keeping with the post’s 90’s vibe. Don’t be confused when I switch back and forth between the word ‘stripper’ and ‘dancer’, they both mean the same thing. I didn’t all of a …

The Big Dance Part 1

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If you have been paying attention to this project for the last year or so you probably have a pretty good idea of who I am and the kind of person I am striving to be. This particular post is one that I knew I would have to write at some point and I have been looking forward to doing so if only to make some things clear before the doc comes out. Hopefully getting it out into the ether …

Make Off!

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As a completely unexpected result of my no-shopping challenge, this year on my 39th birthday I stopped wearing makeup. A year ago that never would have happened specifically because I decided early on that cosmetics would be exempt from the challenge. My reasoning was that because I have rosacea and use prescription products to tone down my skin’s redness, I also need to wear foundation and concealer. And if I’m going to wear all that I might as well wear …

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